Well today literally sucked
Having to diesct a rat in biology sucks,
i dislike the idea of cutting an animal up
:l
Plus
I got a 34% on my math test
I had a 75% in the class
Now its prpbably a F

My family has isssues
They make me feel like absoultely nothing

Plus im slacking on my homework
School needs to end

Current Mood: blah

My camera broke like a couple months ago
and i still havent gotten a new one

it sucks badly not to b able to have a camera and take pictures
it was my life practically
and i havent been living since my camera broke


I need to find a fairly cheap professional camera

sdjkfhsdjk

:l

My parents said theyd help pay it soon
I hope they do
if not they got my hopes up

Current Mood: anxious

The past couple days have been great for me.
I reaaly havent been pressured by anyone and  Ive felt amazing.

But today i just felt dread for some reason.

I felt as though my life couldnt get any worse
I know i should be grateful for the things i have
but when you go to a school where all kinds of kids have ervything they need and want pluss more its kind of difficult to not feeel this way.
iknow there people out there who also have it worse than me, but i still feel sad.

I turned an apllication for a sumemr job at Kaiser today and i really hope i get it
I really want this badly.

djfsdkfj

Everything is just frustrating for me right now.

haha
Today in science we had this sub Mr.A or something
and he looked totally stoned.
and we watched this reallly creepy video
it was the dumbest movei i have ever seen

kdsjfksdl

Today was just bleh overall.
Plus
People around me keep talkin about God and Jesus and how it influences them and how they cant believe anyone who doesnt believe in anyone of them
i feel awkward al the time

hmm

Ive been thinking alot about God and Jesus.
I know there is alot of stuff i dont know about the Bible, God, and Jesus.
But i need motivation.

I dont believe in God or Jesus, or really anything the bible has to say
i believe in Jesus to be a person but not a messiah or anything

there are too many questions i have and all kinds of stuff that contradict the bible
i dont know if i should try being a christian
alot of my friends are and really believe in Jesus fullout

they want me to go to church and beleive in him
i say i do
but i dont know
it just seems illogicall

Im not ure what created everything
i think there may be a creator but its not aholyspit,man or anything

im just confused about it all
and i need to find something for motivation
any ideas?

Well,
ive decided that i take my moms trust and understanding for granted.
I lost it the other day,a dn it truly sucks.

You never know what you had, until its lost ,really is true.

Television is truly evil ive decided
there are so many shows tha are full of shit
even cartoons that my brother watches
they teach kids such bad stuff
i like entertainment, but some shows go way too far

i feel as though im going to die
i have he worst allergies
it hink im sick too
i cant breath or really even see
my head is throbbing and my eyes burn

whats up

Today was hell.
I procrastinated on Leventinis essay.
I lost my parents trust, once again, and now i cant hang out with some of my friends.
Just Great.
Other than downlaoding lots of moosic to my Ipod, today sucked.

Why is my life so frustrating.

Im sorta disappointed in myself, for burning a scar into my hand and losing my parents trust.
but i think they blew crap way out of proportion like awlays.
But i guess theyre just being parents, i just wish they werent as strict as they get.

Current Location: Home
Current Mood: disappointed
Current Music: Jason Reeves

The past few days i havent felt motivated. But today especially.

I havent wanted to do anything at all. I usually want to do all kinds of stuff. Its wierd.

Everyday my motivaions and determination to become independent seem to shrink.  

Im not sure about anything anymore.

Current Mood: confused
Current Music: Dashboard Confessional